Growing up Asian in a white world.
Like many of you, the last few weeks have weighed heavily on me. Now is not the time for my voice, but I wanted to share why I feel so strongly about the deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Regis Korchinski-Paquet and countless other BIPOC who have died at the hands of the police.
I am a Filipinx who has migrated to 3 Western countries in my lifetime. Growing up in New Zealand & Australia in the late 90s & early 00s, I could count on one hand the number of other kids in my room who were ”different”. My parents worked a myriad of not-very-glamorous jobs for many years outside of The Philippines in order to survive. When we moved to Australia, there was (and still is) a strong anti-immigrant sentiment that permeated the media, government policy, and the general attitude of the public towards POC. Part of the reason we were even able to migrate to Australia was because we were New Zealand citizens at the time, and the migration process was simpler for Kiwis. Australians feared immigrants coming over and “taking their jobs”, despite the fact people like my parents were the ones who were more than willing to do the jobs Australians didn’t want to do.
There is still a strong anti-immigrant sentiment in many parts of Australia, and support remains for politicians like Pauline Hanson, a Senator who has been extremely vocal against immigration policies (particularly regarding Asian immigrants), and continues to perpetuate wildly ignorant claims regarding Africans, Muslims and POC. Furthermore, The White Australia Policy was only dismantled in 1973. To this day in Australia, there are still stickers on the backs of cars that say “Fuck Off, We’re Full”, continuing to fuel the anti-immigrant rhetoric designed to make all “others” unwelcome, despite the fact the country was originally colonised by English convicts, and Indigenous Australians were forced out of their native lands, murdered, and had generations of children stolen.
All over the world, this familiar rhetoric reverberates; it has changed shape many times, and is represented in many forms, but at its core, the message remains the same—you are different, and we don’t want you here; a feeling that follows you around for the rest of your life. From global attitudes towards refugees & asylum seekers (the Australian government’s current policy of detaining them for years with no processing date, treating them like criminals, and preventing journalists, psychologists & doctors from visiting them, is a disgusting violation of human rights—read more here and here), to our overall ignorance and disrespect towards Indigenous people whose lands and children were stolen, being forced to take part in a society and a culture that was not their own, non-POC have been in control of a world where only those who conform can succeed for hundreds of years.
I have experienced racism in the form of verbal insults (“mail order bride”, “illegal alien” and more) as well as its more covert forms. My parents have experienced racism, at times without actually knowing it; in particular my father (surprise: of my entire family, he is darker than us and has a stronger accent), who has had food hurled at him by (white) teenagers in a shopping mall, but would insist that it has nothing to do with racism. Racism permeates so deeply, it is so insidious that even POC can be convinced that what we are experiencing is not racism (exacerbated by the fact that our experience of racism is often denied by white people, who don’t believe that fellow white people could possibly be racist—white fragility in action). I have even had someone question whether I am “truly a person-of-color”, because they “didn’t see me as Asian”.
We worked hard to assimilate; to speak English well; to be likeable; to do extremely well at school and in our jobs—not just for ourselves, but to earn the approval of a society that, at all times, is ready to reject us, to call us names, to belittle us, to find evidence that we don’t belong. We somehow re-marketed ourselves from being the yellow peril to being seen as the “model minority” (a topic explored in this book and in this podcast), and we now appear to be deemed higher on the “racial hierarchy”. As Asians, we can earn the approval of white people just enough to be treated like human beings, but this society still isn’t ready for us to be in positions of power or leadership, be that at work or in the government. I would go so far as to say that many POC shrink away from prominent roles, leadership positions and so forth to avoid attracting attention, knowing the hurdles that would lie ahead. For Black & Indigenous folks, these hurdles are insurmountable.
Being a Filipinx who is cisgendered, looks ethnically ambiguous, speaks English without an accent, has a university education, works with mostly white people, has mostly white friends and has a white male partner, I am a POC that has had extraordinary privilege, and I have benefited from a system that continues to dehumanise Black & Indigenous people, making it harder for them to have the same opportunities I have had. It is thanks to the radical actions of Black people in the Civil Rights movement that Asian people worldwide can enjoy similar liberties to white people today. My experience of racism truly pales in comparison to what Black people experience every single day.
In 2019 alone, police in the United States killed 1,098 people, leaving only 27 calendar days where police did not kill someone. Black people made up 24% of those killed, despite making up only 13% of the population. While the United States has a disproportionate number of shooting fatalities & casualties in custody, violence towards BIPOC happens everywhere—in Australia, there have been 437 deaths in custody since 1991, when the Royal Commission into Aboriginal Deaths in Custody ended, and there has never been a criminal conviction related to deaths in custody. Canada also has work to do; in recent weeks, 29-year-old Afro-Indigenous woman Regis Korchinski-Paquet fell to her death from her 24th floor balcony in Toronto after police were called to her house, and 26-year-old Chantel Moore was shot and killed when a police officer entered her home during a wellness check in New Brunswick.
It’s also worth mentioning that Black Americans experience the highest overall mortality rate from COVID-19 (2.3 times higher than white & Asian people, and 2.2 times higher than Latinx)—not because the novel coronavirus itself is specifically harmful to BIPOC, but because of the increased likelihood of exposure to environmental hazards, disparity in quality of life and overall health & wellbeing, as well as existing policies that harm BIPOC communities (read: Systemic Racism Makes Covid-19 Much More Deadly For African-Americans).
I have never had to fear for my life when a police officer pulls me over, or when I hear a knock at the door. I will never have to explain to my children how to avoid getting shot by the police. I will never walk into a store and have people assume I am a violent criminal or a thief. I will never be stopped and questioned if I am out for a run. I have never been denied a job, an education or a bank loan because of who I am. I want to be part of a world where I can learn, work, play, exercise and live with thriving BIPOC communities, and I will fight not only now, but beyond when this is #trending, because as an Asian-Australian, I have been able to live my life thanks to the road paved by Black Americans. Let’s keep the momentum and the conversations going.
There is so much to unpack and I have a number of other thoughts I would like to share with you, but for now, here are some Black women whose work and words I admire:
Outdoorswoman, Founder of Colour the Trails @jujumil
Adventure Photographer & Athlete @urbanclimbr
UX Designer/Author @ogorchukwuu
Environmentalist @greengirlleah
Ceramicist @lollylollyceramics
Portrait Photographer @maximushka
Here are some additional resources that I personally have found enlightening, powerful or informative:
Watch: 13th, a 2016 documentary film (available on Netflix) that explores the history of racial inequality and the imprisonment of Black people in America.
Read: I’m currently reading Where The Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens, but I also love Harper Lee’s classic, To Kill A Mockingbird. I am also about to start The Color of Success: Asian Americans and the Origins of the Model Minority by Ellen D. Wu.
Listen: This podcast episode, How Asian Americans Can Better Support Black Lives Matter, by The Dave Chang Show, really resonated with me. You can also listen to Code Switch, a podcast on race & culture from NPR.
Lastly, here are some organizations to follow, support and/or be involved with:
Spirit North (Canada)
Colour The Trails (Canada)
Common Ground Australia (Australia)
Buy from BIPOC (Online)
Diversify Outdoors (America/Online)
Melanin Base Camp (America/Online)
Outdoor Asian (America)
This post was published on Juneteenth, a day that celebrates the emancipation of the last remaining enslaved African-Americans on June 19th, 1865.
I recently had the honour of photographing Mich. Being part of the climbing community in Canmore, as well as being two of few BIPOC folks in our mountain town, Mich and I have crossed paths many times over the years. After their portrait session, I asked them some questions around identity, culture and their personal journey.